What Bartenders Want You to Know

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What Bartenders Would Love to Tell Customers

If you think bartenders are secretly judging you and your drink order, it turns out you're right, and Business Insider asked 30 of them to share what they'd love to tell customers but can't.

  • Please don't order vodka -- "You're nice when you stick with beer, but a demon on spirits."
  • Use cash to pay for a single drink -- "Running credit cards is more time consuming than a cash transaction, and the tiny tip from one drink is not worth my extra time."
  • Order mixed drinks with caution -- "Almost no restaurants or bars clean their ice machines as regularly as they're supposed to."
  • I'm a person. Please treat me like one -- "I am not a servant. I am not a potential date. Please don't take advantage of the fact that I have to treat you in a professional manner."
  • Order everything at once -- "Don't have me make a margarita, then order your buddy a beer only to realize his girl wanted a margarita, too."
  • It looks disgusting when you're eating -- "I hate seeing your chewed up food all over your face while you're dripping ranch all over the bar top. How messy could you possibly be?"
  • I see you and I will get to you the second I can -- "I know you have been waiting for a while. If I haven't taken your order, it is for a good reason. Wait just like everyone else!"
  • Stop hitting on your bartender -- "The bartender does not want to date you."
  • Put your laptop away -- you’re not fooling anyone -- "Stop trying to 'work' at a bar."
  • Money talks and bulls**t walks -- "Time is money and your bar stool is real estate. Don't ask me to hold your seat. And do not get annoyed when people order over you if you are sitting on a bar stool."
  • That girl will not go home with you just because you bought her a $9 shot -- "You look stupid when you order expensive shots."
  • You're overpaying for super expensive cocktails -- You could be paying 400 percent more than the cost of the ingredients to have your drink made.
  • I'm judging you on your drink order.
Voorhees

Voorhees

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