According to THIS REPORT FROM WNEM-TV/Saginaw, MI, spiders could gang up on and kill us all ... if they wanted to. And, if they wanted to, the human race would be gone by 2018.
Oh, it also suggests there is at least one spider in every single home in Nebraska, probably more.
Here's the science behind the claim: If you were to add up all the food spiders eat in one year and all the food we eat in one year, spiders eat almost double what we do. This means of the 400 million tons of food we eat per year, spiders eat between that and 800 million tons, more than the entire adult human population (287 million tons).
While it doesn't even seem remotely likely we'll soon be serving our eight-legged overlords, I'm putting this guy on speed dial, just in case.
Thanks to esteemed listener Fred L. for passing this story along ... and for the nightmares tonight and every night for the rest of my life.