THE CURSE OF LA LLORONA
Starring: Linda Cardellini
Directed By: Michael Chaves (Debut Feature)
Runtime: 1 hour 33 minutes
The Curse of La Llorona is a movie that is apparently set in The Conjuring Universe, although you might not know that from previews alone.It makes it the sixth film in The Conjuring Universe.The horror genre’s version of The Marvel Cinematic Universe where all the films share a timeline and occasionally those timelines intersect.La Llorona seems to be a movie that was written without The Conjuring Universe in mind, and was retrofitted to link up with The Conjuring afterwards.As it’s only “shared” character is a preacher from the 2014 horror film, Annabelle.He’s in one scene.And it’s not a very meaty scene.But it is there, so it counts.
La Lloronais an actual boogeyman tale used to scare children.It revolves around a woman who was betrayed and out of spite murders her children and is left to roam the Earth finding children to replace the ones she killed.So there’s a cool real world mythology spliced into our story.
Sadly, the movie we’re given is painfully dull.It’s the worst movie I’ve seen this year that didn’t circle back around to being “so bad its good”.This movie is 90 minutes of doors slamming for no reason and the final 30 minutes or so is just people being lifted and thrown across a room by an invisible spirit.
It consists of a ton of jump scares that you can see coming from a mile away.I will admit there were two scenes in this movie that were pretty good.The scene where our titular ghost is attempting to break into a car, and the second being a bathtub scene with a little girl.Both pretty well done.Pretty creepy.But they were both in the trailer.Soooo…there’s that.
Fans of The Conjuring series have been given less and less with each new Conjuring Universe story.Last year’s entry The Nun was terrible, but I’d watch that one over this one.The first Annabelle was widely panned.The second one, a prequel was well received.Add in the two Conjuring movies and this series is only batting .500 at best.Three good movies.Three bad.A third Conjuring movie is set to hit theaters next year.That’s the good news.The bad news is it is directed by Michael Chaves who directed this movie tonight.But I expect him to be given a meatier story there.And to be fair, the direction isn’t the problem with La Llorona.It looks good.It’s about as well acted as it could be.There just isn’t a good story here at all.
A third Annabelle movie comes out later this summer, the trailer looks good.But I’ll admit I haven’t seen any of the movies in that series.But the two Conjuring movies are solid.
On a scale of "See It/Stream It/Skip" I would vote a solid SKIP IT
If you liked The Nun, The Conjuring, or Annabelle you might like The Curse of La Llorona
1.5 out of 5 stars